whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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