i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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