Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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