If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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