I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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