I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
