I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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