RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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