you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
