How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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