LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
why do cheetos always look like penises
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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