she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
