you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Sober January is a disaster.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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