Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
