Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she peed on how many people?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
