Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
