My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
