According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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