So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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