Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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