I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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