i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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