that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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