how can u be prego again
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
