i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
