That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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