Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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