There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
