also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
