i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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