I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize