There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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