Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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