New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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