What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
