3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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