You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
