Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
A+ Viking dick
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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