You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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