Don't make out with my wife yet
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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