can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
