What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need to sanitize my soul.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
