i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you never un-have a 4some
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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