somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
