You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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