Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
