Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
