I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize