at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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