all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize