i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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