is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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