Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
