Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
