How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
