you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
