im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
