Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
All the doctor said was why
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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